Out of the Waiting Place

I remember about a year ago, I happened to pick up Dr. Seuss's book once again, Oh, the Places You'll Go!  I had read it many times before, but not since I was much younger.  And it had never really meant a whole lot to me before that.  But one particular section stood out to me during that time last year whenever I first began to think about travel nursing.  I posted it here.  I remember thinking about that Waiting Place.  Because that Waiting Place was where I was then, and had been for a long time.

Always waiting, for what I never knew.  For things to happen to me, I guess.  Maybe a husband, or a great new job offer, or just for things to "get better" (whatever that means, right?).  And never really doing the things that I wanted to do because I was always hoping for some "aha!" moment, or something to drastically change.  My life was very much the same for quite a long time, and I was frustrated.  I felt I was watching life happen to everyone else.

So here I am, over a year later and I've finally pursued what I really wanted to do.  And yes, it has been really stressful.  But I'd rather be where I am, even if this isn't something I do forever, than sitting and wondering about the things that could be.  I don't want to spend my life just waiting for things to happen to me, but rather making them happen.  Isn't that how you'd rather live?

I have been really stressed, but honestly if I weren't here, I'd just be sitting back home.  Always wondering about all the what-if's and could-have-been's.  Stress and all, this is what I wanted, and I'm so glad I did it.

Finally Seeing SF

Well, tonight it's back to work.  But I've had a good few nights off.  The first day, as it always is with night shift, was spent mostly being lazy in front of the computer with Netflix on.  Yesterday Bela and I decided to drive my car into San Francisco to see the Golden Gate Bridge, and visit Muir Woods to see the Redwood trees!  Definitely one of the coolest experiences I've had yet!

^^^Just driving through SF, I thought all the wires were really interesting.

 ^^^We went to a cool place called Fred's Coffee Shop in Sausalito.  Here is a spinach and feta cheese omelette with potatoes and toast.  Delish!

^^^We went to Muir Woods and got to see the Redwood trees!  Something that has always been on my bucket list, and I'm glad I can cross that off!  I think I'll definitely go back to see them again sometime.  Beautiful.  And so quiet and peaceful. 

^^^We got to see the Golden Gate Bridge!  We walked about half of it, and drove over it as well.  Pretty cool!

We went to a cool coffee shop called Philz Coffee.  Not the greatest service, but I think I had the best coffee I've ever had in my life there.  It was called Philtered Soul.

So, things with work are still pretty stressful.  I'm still really anxious about going in tonight, and have had some interesting and somewhat unpleasant experiences with some of the staff there.  But we are definitely trying to make the most of our days off, and that is honestly what travel nursing is about.  We knew it would be stressful going in... maybe not quite as stressful as it's been.  But we definitely were preparing ourselves for the worst when we started this.  Somehow it has still been more stressful than I expected.  Anyway, after tomorrow night I'll have completed my first full week on my own, and maybe I'll feel better about things then... we shall see.

Settling into Life Here

I've now had two nights on the floor by myself off of orientation.  Things are still hard.  I do feel like I am figuring out the charting, but I am really missing the support system that I'm used to at my old job.  Not to mention I still haven't felt like myself back on the floor.  I know I am a good nurse.  I have been told that by many people, yet since starting out here in California I have just felt really off.  I don't know why, but I just don't feel like the old Nurse Nat when I'm taking care of my patients.  Not that I'm being a bad nurse... I just don't feel like the good nurse I know I am.  I'm hoping I start to feel like my old self soon...

I've been really trying hard to leave the stress of work at work.  I actually had gotten really good at that back home, but out here it just seems to permeate everything.  So, I'm working on that.  Bela and I work mostly opposite schedules, which hasn't helped since often when I'm off she has to work.  We did both have yesterday off, so we took the evening to set up our Wifi (THAT was a whole fiasco in and of itself!) and went out to dinner at Fuddruckers.  We were both craving a good burger.  Since we have been making fires in our apartment most nights cause of the cold, we decided to make s'mores last night.  Delish!  And after FINALLY getting the Wifi set up, we watched Parks and Recreation on Netflix.  Yes, I have gotten Bela addicted to it.  Best show ever!

Here is the delicious s'more I ate last night. 

On my walk this morning, I decided to walk an extra large hill.  The hills here in the Bay Area are killer, but the views are beautiful as a result!  Totally worth it!  Not to mention I'm getting into better shape.  Hadn't been doing too great of a job since traveling out here with my eating or my exercising.  And I just feel like crap when I'm not eating right and exercising.

 There's a part of the trail I walk that I think looks like an enchanted forest.  I took some pictures.

Doesn't that look like it belongs in Narnia?

So overall I would say things are going well.  Of course I'm stressed, but I'm working on that.  I have been a little homesick at times.  Just for familiarity of home.  I never thought I'd miss my home town, but at times I do.  Though I know I will probably never live there again, it will always be home to me.  But I am loving being in a new place also and exploring it.  Tomorrow we plan on taking another trip into SF, this time hopefully to see the Golden Gate Bridge.  The weather has been pretty rainy since yesterday though, so hopefully things will work out.

A little better today...

Things are looking a little brighter today.  I thought that with yesterday's somewhat depressing post, I'd better write another update today so nobody is too worried... ;)

Yes, it is still hard.  Part of why I feel better is I've also been off of work the past two nights.  Tomorrow night I have to go back in and be on my own on the floor.  Honestly, the biggest issue for me there is that I'm completely new to this system of charting.  I'm just not used to it.  The patient care is the same, of course.  But when you can hardly figure out the computer system it just puts you behind on everything else in general, which makes it really hard.  Not to mention the support system just isn't the same for a travel nurse on the floor as it is for a permanent nurse on the floor.

Anyway.  Yes, I've been off today.  Bela had to work tonight, 3-11:30, so I am currently sitting at a coffee shop (Peet's Coffee and Tea... nice to have something besides Starbucks!  Though I do still love Starbucks...) for internet since we still don't have any at the apartment.

I took a really nice walk today.  A couple of days ago on a walk, I decided to go a little bit further and discovered a beautiful park with rolling hills and beautiful views.  Today I decided to walk that park.  Let me tell you, a walk sounds like a nice, leisurely activity, and it was to a point.  But those hills were KILLER!  I've never walked anything like that before unless it was a hiking trip.  Not to mention the weather here is just cold all the time.  By the end my hands were numb and I could barely move them.  I decided that I needed some warm workout clothes (never needed that before), so I found some nice fleece jackets at Ross.  Gonna need to get some gloves too... definitely wasn't expecting this kind of weather in California!

Thankfully, things are looking up today.  I know that's easy to say when I'm relaxing in a coffee shop, and we'll see how I feel tomorrow when I'm walking into work at 2300.  I'm praying for it to be not so overwhelming... we shall see!

This has been a really rough week.

Reality is definitely setting in.  We got our furniture delivered to our apartment this week.  Now it feels like home.  But things are settling, and we are definitely feeling the reality of our situation.  We have finished our two whopping days of orientation on the floors we will be working on, and both feel so inadequately prepared for what is to come.  Especially Bela, as she has to work day shift and it is SO much crazier than nights.

Travel nurses are just not treated very nicely.  I knew that before going in, but I just didn't think it would be this hard.  The expectations are incredibly high (this is why you should ALWAYS make sure you have plenty of experience before starting) and the training incredibly insufficient.  The charting is different than anything I've ever used, and I have to learn that on top of learning two whole new units, dealing with new co-workers, and charge nurses in general who just don't give a crap about how you're doing.  Because although we are here to help the hospital out, we are essentially on our own.

Anyway, outside of work I really love it here.  We have met some really wonderful people, who I think will be so helpful in helping us to not feel so sad about our circumstances.  I think we are also just going to have it rough for a couple of weeks until we get a little more acclimated to things.

Right now we are just sitting in Starbucks drinking our peppermint mochas, listening to the cheery Bing Crosby music in the background, and trying our best to be positive about things.  I do think that things will get better... it's just gonna be a rough road to get there.

I'm in California!

Hello from California!

It has been a SUPER DUPER BUSY week and a half.

For a better update than I can provide here (and mainly for lack of time, as I'm currently sitting at a cute diner called Shari's Pies since I have no wifi), I will send you over to mine and Bela's blog about our travels.  Right HERE! (The link is also on the right side of the blog under blogs I follow, in case you want to just follow that blog.... between Bela and I, there will probably be a lot more detailed updates there!)

I will say that California has been so different than anything I ever expected.

We have run into the kindest, friendliest people ever.  And we are from the south!  I feel so lucky to be where I am right now.  It is definitely really scary, but it's where I'm supposed to be.  And it's not been a walk in the park, either.

We finally got settled into our apartment today.  It really hit me then.  This whole last week and a half have seemed like whirlwind of excitement, travels, new job, meeting people, etc.  Then we got to the apartment, things were quiet-- and I looked around and realized this is it.  I'm 3000+ miles away from home.  And I felt homesick, I really did.  It passed after a few minutes, but I know it will come and go in waves over the next few weeks.  Especially as the Holidays are approaching.  Thankfully I have my best friend Bela here, and we can both be homesick together and hopefully cheer each other up.

With all of that, I still know that I am in the right place.  That I'm where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  And I'm scared.  This new job scares me.  It will be very similar as far as the nursing bit goes, but their computer charting system is incredibly daunting and something I will have to learn very quickly.  Any prayers and good thoughts are appreciated.

I will try to be back here more often for updates.  Here's hoping for a great first full week of work, and meeting more great people!