it's a journey

Since starting travel nursing, running has become a new hobby of mine.  That's definitely not a something I ever thought I would say, but here I am saying it.  I feel as though I've had a breakthrough with fitness.  Seeing it as a way to challenge and push myself, achieve goals, break my own personal records.  And learning that it isn't about pushing my body to achieve a specific size and shape.

Yesterday I went running-- five miles (more than I've run in years)-- in the snow, ice, and rain.  Call me crazy, but I actually do enjoy running in conditions other than hot and humid (take that, Florida!).  I indulged in a little self-promotion that I rarely allow myself to do on facebook, and bragged on myself just a bit.  I then included the statement that I felt badass because less than a year ago I was overweight and sedentary.  And while I got plenty of likes for that status (because well, duh, that's why we post!) one comment stood out to me more than all of those likes.  Essentially the gyst of this comment was that I was never overweight to begin with.

Of course, then I felt a bit silly.  

I know I was never obese.  I realize I don't know what it's like to be 30, 50, or 100+ pounds overweight.  I've never claimed to.  But I was a sedentary, over-eating and yes, overweight girl.  I was unhealthy, even though I might not have admitted it at the time.  I could barely walk a mile without being short of breath.  I would bend over to tie my shoes and breathing became difficult.  I felt stuck, I felt trapped.  I felt like I would try to make extreme changes only to make even bigger failures and then feel even worse about myself.  When I reached my breaking point last May when even my biggest clothes were way too small and I barely recognized who I saw in pictures, I knew something had to change.  So I began a journey, one that I'm still on, and one that I'm still learning to navigate and probably always will.

I remember thinking to myself, "I'm 25 years old.  Is this the prime of my life?  Is this as good as it will get for me?"  And I resolved that the latter part of my twenties would be better.  That I would take care of myself.  Every day is different.  There are days I don't have a hard time with it at all.  And days where I still wish I could just eat a whole pizza, ice cream and cake, and just not care.  And sometimes I allow myself those (smaller) indulgences, and it's ok.  But every day is part of my journey toward being a better, healthier person.

Spokane, WA

Hello from Washington!  Actually, I'm living in Idaho but wanted to say that since Washington is where my assignment is.  I've been here a week now, and I have to say that I have loved every minute of it so far.  Yes, even my nights on the floor.  This assignment has already gone so much better than the first one.  I don't think we could have asked for any better, honestly.

We arrived Saturday night to snow and ice EVERYWHERE.  At first I was thinking, "What have I gotten myself into!?"  I honestly didn't realize that Spokane has quite this extreme of winters.  But once I got through that first night and invested in a good pair of boots, things have been great.  We have had snow a few times and gotten the experience of driving through it.  It's been interesting but I'm learning. I'm hoping to get to make a snow man tomorrow!

So things are going very well, and I'm very optimistic right now!  Here are some pictures from our first week here.

Our sadness of leaving Philz behind in San Francisco was quickly alleviated when we discovered we live close to THREE Dutch Bros! 

I am so excited to be living somewhere with snow!  Definitely a dream come true for me.  We'll see how I feel after a little while. 

Just playing in the snow. 

Snowy trips to Target 

In my neighborhood.  Right on the edge of the mountains! 

Getting to work with Bela has been a blast!  We have been given the exact same schedule for this assignment, which I still can't believe.  It's nice to have someone there with you to keep you laughing.  Working night shift can actually be quite isolating so it helps to have a friend by your side.  Castro Valley was difficult at times because I didn't have that.

And today, I took my first run in the snow!  I feel pretty proud of myself.  I bought Yaktrax, which make all the difference.  You can run on packed snow and ice (carefully, of course).  This weather will not defeat me!