Merida: Brave

There has recently been a lot of controversy surrounding Disney's makeover of Merida for her coronation as the 11th Disney princess.  As you can see above, she has been re-designed to fit Disney's cookie-cutter princesses.  Now, as a lover of Disney I have never had problems with their promotion of princesses.  Despite many of my more progressive feminist ideals, this is one I've not let go of because of the nostalgia surrounding it and the love for Disney that I have.  However, Merida was the first kick-ass princess to be created by Disney.  One who could be a real role model for strong girls.  One who looked normal, who actually looked like... well, a girl.

And, my favorite thing about Merida, of course, is her curly hair.  It took several years for animators to be able to create her hair.  And they were spot on with their portrayal of curls- never perfect, always a little frizzy, hard to contain.  This new version has glossy, wavy curls as opposed to Merida's 3D wild mane from the movie.

It sounds like Disney has backed down from this new design of Merida, going back to the original.  And honestly, I would have no problem with them animating her in a cartoon form for the purpose of coronation, if they hadn't taken that and sexed her up so much, made her look so drastically different (and quite a bit older) than the Merida from Brave.  She was just fine the way she was!

So, I wrote the other day about one of my favorite TV shows, Survivor.  And that I really particularly liked the winner of this season.  Cochran, a 25 year old Harvard law school graduate, was on the show this time as a favorite.  This was his second time playing.  A self-proclaimed super Survivor fan who has loved the show and even written his thesis on the jury system of Survivor, his first time on Survivor he was the biggest underdog there.  A fish out of water among the super-toned, six-pack abs, tanned and good-looking people that usually star on the show--he was bullied constantly, made fun of, and made to feel like the weak link the entire time.  I even remember thinking that CBS owed the world a PSA regarding bullying every week during that season of Survivor, because it was so painful to watch.  Ultimately he betrayed his tribe by flipping to another alliance, though one couldn't blame him after how awfully he was treated.

Of course, the first time around Cochran was insecure, afraid to take off his shirt, afraid of what people thought about him.  This time around, he just didn't care.  He played a confident game, and what I think was one of the most strategic games I've seen-- and with a lot more class than many of the other notorious strategists of past seasons.

So, why am I even going on about this at all?  I don't know anyone who watches Survivor or even cares about it.  Well, something that Cochran said in the reunion show really stuck with me.  He was comparing his second time around with the first, explaining what he felt was different.  How the first time, he was afraid that people would peg him as the socially awkward geek that he was, and how that had changed the second time around.

"Instead of those eccentricities and quirks being a source of embarrassment and anxiety for me, I accepted it as a reality of my existence and that's immensely liberating because I got to focus on the game this time instead of worrying about how I am perceived which really ruined my game the first time-- being able to focus on the game I've loved for half my life."

The reason this really stuck with me, is that this is something I think a lot of us must come to terms with in ourselves.  Owning who we are and not apologizing for it.  All of us must wake up each day and face the world.  Face people who think we are strange, or even stupid.  We must go to work, deal with difficult co-workers,  handle reality, and pay our bills.  But going through this while trying to be someone we aren't?  Or feeling incredibly insecure and caring about what others think about you every single day?  No thanks.  Liberating is the perfect word to describe owning your quirks, your social awkwardness, your "un-coolness" (all of which describe me).

Survivor

I can't believe I left Survivor off of my favorite TV shows back when I was covering them a few weeks back.  I have followed Survivor mostly since season 2, though there were a few seasons in the middle that I got bored with and gave up on.  Tonight was the Survivor: Caramoan finale, and I have to say-- this season has been one of the best ones I can remember.  It seems that each season my favorites get voted out way too early, but this season had so many greats that I loved following it each week!  I felt like the winner really deserved it this time around.  The one thing I don't like about this show is that people lie so much, and people end up getting hurt in the end at the cost of playing to win.  The winner this time, however, was someone who played with a lot of strategy and a lot more class than previous winners.

So, I was canceled again for work tonight.  Bummer, oh well.  Hopefully I'll get in my next two days of work before going out of town, but I'm a little bit worried.  Well, we will see.  I'm excited to be with family for a bit.

Purity Shaming

2003 : 2013

Recently I have been doing a lot of reading/thinking about the whole idea of shame-based purity within the church.  Elizabeth Smart recently referenced this shame-based purity, that this was a part of the reason that she didn't run from her captors.  Now, I think I have to make the disclaimer that in no way do I believe anyone but the perpetrators are responsible in these horrible crimes.

So, what exactly is shame-based purity?  It is a movement within the church that teaches young people, mainly girls, that their worth as a human being rests upon their virginity until marriage.  It teaches girls that if you are not a virgin, you are the equivalent of a chewed-up piece of gum, a broken and wilted rose that nobody wants, the present that was opened prematurely and is now ruined.  It tells girls that they only deserve respect when they are dressed "modestly."  That they will lead their "brothers" astray by dressing provocatively.  I like to call it "purity policing."  Policing because I was told on multiple occasions (as a 13-17 year old girl) by grown men (that weren't my father or my brother), that my shorts were too short, or my shirt too tight, etc, etc.  I was threatened with the prospect of being sent home from church, or VBS, or camp, if I didn't comply with the rules of dress.  The purity of the minds of my brothers in Christ was placed upon my shoulders from the time I was a young girl.

And this is just my experience with the shame-based purity teachings of the church.  I never was forced to get a purity ring or make a vow, or had to go to a purity ball.  There are women who experienced a much worse form of this than I did.  But I'm here to tell my story, and share my thoughts on the subject.

Here's the mentality I grew up with as a teenager:  If you're a virgin, you're better than the other girls who aren't virgins.  If you dress modestly, you have more self respect (and therefore deserve more respect) than the girls who dress provocatively.  If they were mistreated by guys, it's because they were basically asking for it.

I could go on and on until I make you hate 16-year-old Natalie.  I kind of hate her too.  But I also realize how I was kind of brainwashed into this thinking, and it gives me a little more compassion for myself in those days.  But the fact that I was brought up to be void of compassion for so many other people saddens me.  What I thought was compassion (i.e. "I feel so sorry for girls who don't respect themselves enough to wait for marriage, or to dress modestly") was really just pride and arrogance for how good I thought was.

I do think there is danger in this purity-shaming that is so prevalent in church.  It plays into rape culture, that men are animals who can't control themselves unless women cover up and act differently (resulting in the victim-blaming that so many in America are doing).  It teaches women that they don't have ownership of their bodies.  And it disempowers women.  This is a dangerous mentality to have.  Believe me, I have had so many conversations and read so much about this subject that it scares me for the young girls who are still taught this way of thinking.

I'm not playing the victim here, nor am I trying to blame anyone.  I am pointing out the flaws I see, and their resulting effects.  I'd love to hear any thoughts people have on this.  And if you're a guy, did you ever experience any level of shame-based purity teachings?

"You will always have value and nothing can change that." -Elizabeth Smart

Amen, sister.

Ok, I have held off on watching Duck Dynasty for awhile now.  No particular reason, I just didn't watch it cause it didn't interest me.  Now I think I have jumped on the bandwagon.  The other night when I was canceled from work, I turned on the TV for background noise and came upon a Duck Dynasty marathon.  I watched it for three hours straight.  I can't believe that this show sucked me in!  It is hilarious, and everything Si says makes me laugh.  Anyway, it's a funny show about a family that seems really close and loves and respects each other.  How can you go wrong with that?  (SN- despite the long hair and beards, these guys are still pretty handsome!)

So, I picked up an extra day of work this week since we've been canceled so much.  I figured if they canceled me this time around, hopefully that extra day would help make up for it.  Sure enough, I'm canceled tonight.  I was kind of glad, actually, because I was charge nurse last night and it was particularly stressful.  We had to support team a patient and it was so much more stressful than when I'm the floor nurse.  I'd rather have my own patient support teamed than to be the charge nurse during someone else's support team.  It was particularly frustrating, too, because of the stress of dealing with co-workers when you're in a position of leadership... it is just really frustrating.  Left work this morning feeling really discouraged about my job.

Well, an all-too-expected MTO from work (our census has been low for a couple weeks) and a torrential downpour (that has yet to let up for two days), and I now have a nice quiet evening to myself.  Jacob, a friend of mine, suggested the book The Woman in White a few weeks ago and I have yet to pick it up.  Seems like the perfect time to do so (along with a glass or two of wine)-- I'll just make sure to leave the weather channel on in the background so I know if any tornadoes are headed my way.  Actually, it's the floods I'm more worried about at the moment.

I haven't had a whole lot to say lately on here.  Well, lately as in the past week and a half.  But I really wanted to try to be better about blogging more often, with more than just boring updates on my life.  I have had a lot about women's issues bouncing around my head for awhile now that I can't seem to articulate into words very well, which has kind of given me writer's block in that particular subject.  I'm still trying to get over caring about what people think about me and truly writing my thoughts on the matter... so give me some time.

I have a trip planned in a few weeks to visit family up north and go to a friend's wedding.  Looking forward to that.  It's come a lot faster than I was ready for-- it feels like I just bought my plane ticket and now here it is just around the corner.  I'm hoping that work doesn't feel the need to cancel me multiple times between now and then.  Although I can't complain about a little more time to myself, I still like to get paid, y'know?

My little sister Hannah also graduated college last week.  Now me and all three of my sisters all have college degrees-- something to be pretty proud of!  Hannah plans on going to grad school, which does inspire me to possibly think of doing that for myself.  But it will be a few years before that is even possible.  I am beginning to think I might actually be able to do the nurse practitioner bit.  We'll see.  It's a lot of work and a lot of school, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that.  But at times I do find myself looking over what I've accomplished so far, and wondering-- what's next?