"Summer" Break

Spent an impromptu weekend in Orlando with Allison. It was fun, if somewhat quiet. We got coffee yesterday morning at Barnie's, and afterward Allison went to Owen's first birthday party. I have to tell you, those three hours to myself were awesome. I read, watched Two Weeks Notice, and rested. Then we went bike-riding with Allison's roommate Alex in a park (where you can rent bikes- how cool is that?!) without helmets, which shows you just how adventurous I can really be! ;) We were only able to go about six miles, but it was good fun. Having fun and exercising- those don't usually go together for me, but I'm thinking I should buy a bike, find a friend, and start biking. Not to mention I'd have killer legs. Dinner that night at a Mexican restaurant to finish off the day.

I went to the beach twice this week, and another trip is in order tomorrow. Because of my awful sunburn though I will not be wearing a swimsuit- though it's probably better to spare the folks at the beach anyway. It'll be a good time hanging with friends without the stress of school.

I feel like this summer semester is looming over my head and I'm just ready to get it over with. I am starting to get a little bummed out about being in school during the summer. I will be in class all day on my birthday. I have never had to go to school on my birthday. Oh well, now I'll know how most everyone else feels.

Well, should be going. Hopefully a good week coming up.

"Now dear Christians, some of you pray night and day to be branches of the true Vine; you pray to be made all over in the image of Christ. If so, you must be like Him in giving ... 'though He was rich, yet for our sakes He became poor' ... Objection 1: 'My money is my own.' Answer: Christ might have said, 'My blood is my own, my life is my own.' ...then where should we have been? Objection 2. 'The poor are undeserving.' Answer: Christ might have said, 'They are wicked rebels ... shall I lay down my life for these? I will give to the good angels.' But no, He left the ninety-nine, and came after the lost. He gave His blood for the undeserving. Objection 3. 'The poor may abuse it.' Answer: Christ might have said the same; yea, with far greater truth. Christ knew that thousands would trample His blood under their feet; that most would despise it; that many would make it an excuse for sinning more; yet He gave His own blood."

-B. B. Warfield

Random Thoughts

Ahh, another lazy day down. I think today I've got to buckle down and get some things done. I took about a five hour nap yesterday- yikes!

And just wanted to point out that the phrase we use when people get married, "starting their life together," is kind of a funny and annoying phrase (when in reality, a more accurate way to phrase it would be ending their lives together... ok KIDDING). I don't know why. What do you say when you're single, "I'm continuing my life?" It's just kinda funny. Or maybe it's just that life doesn't really begin until you're married (ha!). It's like the phrase of finding someone who "completes" you. Like we're broken halves until we find the right person. That basically sucks. I'm also a proponent of holding showers for people who reach a certain age and are still single. It's kind of unfair to give presents to people just because they are getting married.

I think the beach sounds positively heavenly today. It's supposed to be above 80 today.

Has anybody seen the video of Miss California? I don't know if I'd take the argument that she lost the crown because of her stance against same-sex marriage (although Perez Hilton did lower her points because of her answer), but she is definitely being slammed for having that opinion. I think that's kind of sad. If she would have gone on in her answer to hate on gay people, I would understand, but she didn't. She didn't even come across as judgmental. You can't even really have much of an opinion anymore without being criticized unless it's a PC one. Would they rather her have lied about her opinions? Well, probably. Just as long as no one is offended!

Anyway, sorry for the random post. I think I need to find something to do.

Another Ending

I made it to the end of yet another semester! One more to go- and I'll be graduated.

My life has literally revolved around school my entire life. College graduation and the "real world" have always been down the road- that teeny tiny light barely visible at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I'm really scared right now of emerging out of here- diploma in hand, those three little letters "BSN" behind my name, and hopefully after a successful go at the NCLEX the title of RN. That means I have to get a job. A job where I'm responsible for people. A job where I am the one standing between them and the doctor, between them and a DVT, or an infection, and the list could go on. A job where one error in medication could be catastrophic. Oh my goodness- can I really do that?

And it's not only the job that scares me- but I won't be a college student. I will be a single young woman, on my own, dealing with real life grown-up things. I'm not really sure where to go with that. I actually feel like my life will be losing some of its purpose without school. Yes, even with all of my complaining, I do love school.

But at the same time- I'm about to enter my last semester of nursing school and am absolutely stoked! I couldn't be more excited about graduation. I have such mixed feelings about it all. I guess I'm just glad I have a few more months left.

Three weeks of a break, and I'm going to enjoy it. :)

Library... last final TOMORROW!

Killing time while on a break from studying. I think I should be more stressed about this final. However, I am not, and that really scares me. Usually I'm a basket case before finals like this! Just gotta think... tomorrow, at this time, I'll be chillaxin, and getting ready for what just might be the most amazing 24 EVER!

Today on the way to the library, I saw a man with his truck pulled over into the median between 9A north and south, and he was picking wildflowers! It was so cute! He had a bouquet of them. How sweet, I wonder who he was giving them to. I actually recently noticed how beautiful and colorful the wildflowers there are. I don't blame the guy for stopping to pick a few.

Friday afternoon I went out with a few friends. It was fun to let loose and have some fun. I really haven't ever done that, not really, and we just had a great time. And it was with people I don't normally hang out with, which made it even more great fun! I love making new and closer friends! Why have I made myself such a social outcast most of my life? I have been missing out! Well, I guess when it comes down to it there is a part of me that will always be that way, but from now on I will make sure I always have amazing friends.

Well, time to hit the books again. Took a little too long of a break this time...

Last Final

One more final to go, and I'm done with the semester. I feel like I have been way too relaxed about this final though. It kind of scares me because I don't want that to bite me in the butt. All of us are that way at this point though- we are so ADD. I think we are just ready to graduate.

Today and tomorrow will be completely devoted to studying. Right now I'm just finishing my coffee, then I'm camping out in the library until it closes. I really need to focus.

The end is so close. I have a final in my leadership class today at 1:40, and my last final of 4th semester will be on Monday at 8:00. I can hardly believe we have come this far. This weekend will definitely be packed full of studying and very likely stressing, but by Monday I will be ready for my three week break. I'm so thankful for that- most of the time people only get about two weeks in between the spring and summer semesters.

I always thought I would be absolutely miserable at the prospect of a summer semester, but really I don't think I'll mind it too much. I'm sure it's going to be really stressful, and I probably will complain a lot, but knowing that graduation is coming at the end of July will make it doable.

Last day of clinical went well. I was in L&D and saw two vaginal deliveries. Umm.... I'm not sure I want to have babies. Ok, not really, but my goodness it looked extremely painful! Yeah they have epidurals, but believe me you can sympathize with their pain anyway. I think it was probably one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen in my life. But also really neat.

Going to the library to study for final #1, then spending the rest of the day after that studying for final #2.

Return of Reality

"The King of love my Shepherd is,
Whose goodness faileth never;
I nothing lack if I am His
And He is mine forever.

"Where streams of living water flow
My ransomed soul He leadeth,
And, where the verdant pastures grow,
With food celestial feedeth.

"Perverse and foolish oft I strayed
But yet in love He sought me.
And on His shoulder gently laid,
And home rejoicing brought me."

-John B. Dykes

Just a beautiful hymn I love, and heard it last night for the first time in awhile. I had a great Easter weekend. I did not get anything done, but I got to spend time with family and friends. That is something I haven't done in a long time.

Easter was spent with the Kerchers. It was a great day and included our traditional walk. Lauren even surprised us by showing up when we thought she would be with Aaron! That made the day even more fun! The Kerchers are my second family.

Exactly one week from today I will be finishing up my last exam of my fourth semester in nursing school. At that point I will officially be a "Fifth Semester" student! Emphasis added because it seems only a few months ago I sat in our orientation, having information about classes, clinicals, community hours, schedules, etc thrown at me from all directions and feeling more overwhelmed than I had in my entire life. At that point I wasn't even sure if I would make it through the first semester. I thought the next two years seemed absolutely insurmountable, yet here I am, almost to the top of that "mountain." So much more to go, though, because I have not only this summer to think about but the NCLEX and finding a job. Wow, the adult world isn't what it's cracked up to be. Maybe school is a lot easier than the real world.

So, now that the weekend is over is back to the usual studying. I have community hours today because I have about six more left to do before school ends. I figure that between today, Wednesday, and next Monday, I should hopefully get all of the hours that I need. I have been very frustrated with community work this semester- in fact I feel as though every semester has pretty much been that way. Forced volunterism isn't really volunteering, and that just makes me not want to do it.

Anyway, gotta get back to studying. I have a lot to do in the next week.

Happy Easter, folks. :)

Weekend

I have emerged out of the week from hell! I am absolutely, positively exhausted. Monday I had clinical all day, Tuesday I had a hundred and three things to do because Wednesday I had clinical, Wednesday evening worked on a poster, Thursday morning Sim lab, afternoon poster presentation, then studying in the library until 1 am. Quiz at 8:30 this morning, and now here I am, still alive. I was having flash-backs to adult health!

I had had way too much coffee, however, and now am having palpitations. Here's a little did-you-know. Did you know that getting a coffee with a shot is called a Red Eye, two shots is called a Black Eye, and three shots is a Bloody Nose? At Starbucks, anyway. I didn't know that but now I do! Don't worry, I only had a shot of it in my coffee today.

I am going to veg out today. So, on to vegging and being lazy. :)

Blessings Counted

I live a very blessed life.

Sometimes I want to move out of my house so badly, to be independent and on my own. But this very fact shows that I have loving parents who have not minded providing for me these past four years.

I have to get up more often than I'd like to at 4:30 am. And be able to function. But I do this because I get to go to clinical and learn, and prepare myself for my future career.

I get so sick of school and studying on some days. But I'm privileged enough to even be in school.

Sometimes I am so stressed, I can't stand it. But I am busy, and I am capable of handling the stress.

Every month I have a period with cramps that I'm pretty darn sure would make a grown man cry. But this monthly event only reminds me that I have a healthy, functioning body.

Today I looked in the mirror with dismay- curves in the wrong places, pants fitting just a bit snug. But I'm not starving.

I find it difficult to maintain friendships on some days. But I have friends, I love them, and I'm pretty sure they love me too.

I don't have much. But I have more than I need.

Every day I complain about school, about stress, about my family, about my body image, and the list could go on. I have so much, and even these things I complain about are blessings I do not deserve. Think about your blessings today.

Get ready, get set... GO!

Crazy week begins!!!!!

Yes, it is a very stressful week, but I just spent THE best day of clinical ever in newborn nursery. It was amazing. Can I please be a nursery nurse? I bet it is impossible to get in there. No joke, I had the best day ever. I have not really held babies in a long time, and was a little unsure at first, but it was awesome. And to top it off, I saw a c-section!! The day could not have been better.

Oh, and update on my grandma. She ended up having pneumonia, and I'm so thankful it was nothing more serious. It could have ended up worse had they not taken her in, but thankfully she is recovering. They have her on antibiotics and she is a whole lot better. Just gotta keep praying for her strength to return. Get this, she has not been in the hospital since she had my dad... 53 years ago. That tells you how healthy she is. I hope I'm like that!

And now that I'm home from clinical, I just cannot bring myself to do anything. But I must! I have so much to do, but my body just aches and my eyes feel like they are going to fall out of their sockets. Perhaps a cup of joe is what I need. Mmm... I just might do that.

Untitled

Praying for my grandma today. She was admitted to the hospital with a very high CO2, and has been feeling very sick and weak. I'm not sure of any details other than that, but praying it is nothing serious. This is my grandma- Super Grandma! She has always seemed so much younger and more energetic than her age, but this past Christmas I could tell life has been taking its toll on her, especially with the loss of her sister (my wonderful Aunt Georgia). Even one of my cousins, Jonathan, has always joked she has the "Bonnell gene" that makes you live forever, and though we laugh about it, it almost seemed like it could be true. I just don't like to think of her being sick. I don't like it that people have to age.

Not feeling especially positive and upbeat these days. I have a lot to do though and gotta keep my nose to the grind. God IS good! I have a hard time believing that some days, but the truth of it remains.