Here's a word of advice for you out there.

Unsolicited, don't talk to a woman about her food choices.  Don't tell her there's a lot of sodium, cholesterol, triglycerides, fat, whatever, in her food.  If she doesn't ask, don't try to talk to her about a juice diet, paleo eating, South Beach Diet, Adkin's Diet, Weight Watchers.  I don't even care if she complains about her weight.  Don't tell her what she should or shouldn't be eating.  I don't care if it's an acquaintance, co-worker, friend, sister, mom, cousin, whatever.  Just. Don't. Do. It.

This is an epiphany I have had very recently.  What a person eats is their choice.  It is a very personal thing.  You don't know what is going on.  Maybe they have allergies.  Maybe they have an eating disorder.  Maybe they have food issues and aversions that they can't help.

Believe me.  Most women know all there is to know about almost every diet out there.  We all know how many calories is in the food we're eating.  We know what to avoid to keep love handles down.  We know what foods sit on our waistline.  Don't you think all of this is information we have been bombarded with since we were young girls?  Either get skinny or stay skinny?

For me, I have chosen to let go of diets, control, and calorie-counting when it comes to food.  Because that's the thing.  You might look at me and think, wow she could lose a few pounds.  Or maybe you look at me and think I'm fine the way I am.  I don't know.  But either way, I know what size I am.  And frankly, I don't care that I'm not a size 4.  I decided a long time ago my mental and emotional health was important to me.  What's a "healthy" life worth living if I'm constantly hating everything about myself.  The quotes are there because there are those that might look at me and judge me as unhealthy, but I don't believe that I am.  My sense of self worth is considerably higher than that of many skinny women I know.  But it wasn't that way until I let go of diets.

The fastest way to send a young girl spiraling into an eating disorder is criticizing her about her food choices and portions.  Believe it or not, but it's true.

So here's the thing.  Leave women-- really, leave people alone about their own health.  Unless they ask, just don't even go there.

Happy Easter!

This year, my Easter treat has been Peterbrooke Chocolatier's chocolate covered popcorn.  There is nothing better.  Nothing.  Peterbrooke was started in Jacksonville, FL, (woot woot!) and now has locations across Florida, Georgia, and Alabama.  I rest my case that it is the best chocolate you will ever have, not to mention they make the best chocolate covered popcorn in the world.  The best part is that they make it in the store, so it's fresh!  I bought some this week and finished it off embarrassingly fast... then decided since it's Easter, I would buy myself more.  But I'm being a little more moderate about it this time around.  ;)

My Easter plans this year include a little shin dig with the family tomorrow, probably hiding Easter eggs for my little brother, and eating lots of candy.  Yes, more candy.  I have tried finding a sunrise service to attend, but have been unsuccessful thus far.  I've never been to an Easter sunrise service and always thought that would be a neat experience.  Thankfully I got someone to switch shifts with me so that I would have tonight off as well as tomorrow.

Anyway, hope you have a happy Easter!

The day that I realized I might not want kids was a big one for me.

Growing up, especially in the evangelical church, having children was something I always assumed I would do (after getting married at 18, of course).  Naturally, I also assumed it was something I wanted without a doubt:  Children?  Of course.  Lots of them?  Definitely!  Stay at home with them?  Wouldn't do it any other way!

Now, people are simply appalled to hear otherwise from me these days.  Perhaps they think I'm selfish.  Or childish.  Or that I'm just not ready.  People tell me, "When you settle down, you will change your mind." (SN: does the fact that I may not want kids make people uncomfortable?  I don't get it!)  But through conversations with a friend recently, it's occurred to me that there is nothing selfish about not wanting children.

My brother was born when I was 13 years old.  Being the least busy of all my siblings through the years (sports were pretty much the only approved activity within my family- and I was no good at them), I was often the one helping with him the most.  I babysat him often and for long periods of time.  And I loved it, don't get me wrong.  Having a baby brother was a dream come true for me, because I loved (and still do) babies.  However, I also saw the reality of having a child firsthand.  It isn't simply that I don't want to give up all my freedom to have a child, though sure, that is a factor.  But I know the time that takes and if I am going to have kids, I better damn well know that I want them, that I'm ready for them, that I'm financially capable of supporting them, etc.  Not to mention being emotionally and mentally ready for children.

And as for the selfish bit.  The thought of bringing people into this world, when it is such an awful place so much of the time, is one that weighs heavy.  My honest opinion is that many people think way too lightly about the prospect of children.  They say that no one is ever ready for kids, so why wait.  Well one should wait if they aren't ready.  Some people might never be ready.

So, all that to say, am I completely closed off to the possibility of one day having children?  No.  However, the choice is mine to make.

Disney Cruise: Day 7

Enjoying great barbecue at Castaway Cay 

 Allison enjoying a Corona on the beach

Allison's yummy food 

One last picture before boarding the ship 

Our last meal that we ate all alone.  Sad. 

Baked Alaska... delicious! 

Allison is sad.

We are both sad to be home.

The last day of our cruise was awesome!  We spent the day in Castaway Cay, Disney Cruise Line's private island in the Bahamas.  The highlight of that day for us both was parasailing, though we didn't get any picture proof of it.  I signed us up for parasailing, as that's something I've always wanted to do.  I was scared TO DEATH to do it.  We ended up being the last in our group to go up, and I was working myself up the whole time about how high up it was and how unsafe it looked.  It ended up being so peaceful and so beautiful.  Then I wondered what I had been afraid of after all.  We spent most of that day just laying on the beach and relaxing.  Castaway Cay is really neat.  We wished we could have spent more than just the one day there.

One thing we finally treated ourselves to that night was room service.  I ordered a glass of wine, Allison beer.  And we wondered why we hadn't done that earlier?  We were just too tired to go to any of the lounges for a drink.  I ended up falling asleep early, and we had to be off the ship the next day by 9:00 am.  It's kind of sad how quickly you wake up and are kicked off the ship.  Already we were planning when and where our next cruise would be.  Who knows?

Disney Cruise: Days 5&6

Wednesday Beach Day in Cozumel! 

Isn't this how you want to spend all your days? 

Just goofing off at the beach 

Beautiful Cozumel Beach 

Yummy Mexican lunch 

Whenever we went on excursions at the ports, we would wear these stickers so that we always knew who our group was.

"We're having so much fun!"

 Animator's Palate- my favorite place for supper.  It was so Disney!

We became official Disney animators!

I drew myself, how original.

Our masterpiece drawings.

Javier was a great stateroom host!  Loved all the animals he would make out of the towels every night. 

Our table mates.  On two different nights, the photographers came around to take our pictures, and thought we were all family.  They'd ask Mark to take pictures with his granddaughters (meaning me and the girl, Kayley, on the right), and call us sisters as well.  We tried explaining that we weren't related but it never seemed to make sense to the photographers so finally we would play along and just laugh the whole time.  I actually ended up buying this picture, because I really enjoyed our time with our table mates and regretted not finding a way to stay in touch, especially with Mark and Pat. 

That night was the pirate party, as well as the fireworks, which we really didn't get any good pictures of.  However, there was a huge buffet and once again we ate more than our fair share. 

Thursday was another day at sea, always my favorite.  We meandered around the ship a lot of the day, and looked through the shops. 

Yummy coffee from the Cove 

Getting ready to play bingo... although, we ended up not playing bingo due to the ticket prices being ridiculous. 

Taking one of our many walks on deck 4.  Here I was trying to imitate Lucille Ball in the episode of I Love Lucy when she tries to learn ballet. 

Allison enjoying a walk on deck 4. 

We saw Lincoln that day.  Great movie!  At first I didn't like the idea of watching movies in the theater on the ship, because it seemed like a way to waste great vacation time.  But by Thursday I was so tired, it seemed like a great idea.

One of the cool bathrooms on the ship.  We just had to take pictures! 

 Ok, so I didn't actually eat that.  I had high ambitions to try to be adventurous with food choices.  Not even Allison would eat it, though, so I don't feel so badly.

 And we ended Thursday by seeing Oz premiere at midnight!  Good movie, though I wished they had based it off the actual Oz books.  Most people don't know that there was an entire series based around the land of Oz.  The story we are all familiar with was just one of many books.

By Thursday we were starting to get really exhausted.  I can kind of see now why people only do 4 or 5 night cruises, though I still say I wouldn't want to do any shorter than what we did.  Having the day at sea helped a lot, because there is so much less pressure to do a lot of things in a short amount of time.  By this time we felt very at home on the ship, knew our way around, and really just enjoyed simply being on the ship and relaxing.  We were ok with spending time in our state room watching an on-demand Disney movie (or the documentary about Walt's life... *sniff*) or sitting at the coffee shop by the pool.

For the next cruise, I'd be totally fine with fewer excursions and just more relaxing, but we'll figure all that out when the time comes.  Anyway, only one more post left and I'll be done documenting it!

Taking a little break from the cruise picture posting.  This week's events have had me a little more serious.  I'm obviously still getting over the loss of my cat, so I haven't been able to divert much energy to organizing any more photos.  I'll finish that later, as I know you're on the edge of your seat.

Since Albus's passing, I've been trying really hard to give Aberforth as much attention as possible.  Although the two of them only had about a month and a half of bonding, Aberforth hasn't ever been without another kitty to play with.  Initially when I came home on Friday, I knew he was looking for Albus.  He seems ok now, but lonely.  Or maybe I'm telling myself out of guilt that he's lonely and he needs me.  But either way, he has been a real comfort to me.  He is as sweet as Albus always was, and for that I'm thankful.

Friday was really hard.  I mean really, really hard.  Grieving for an animal is difficult, because it's a very lonely grief.  I'm not saying the loss of an animal is of the same magnitude as a person.  But for someone who has no immediate family of their own (speaking as far as husband and children, not siblings and parents) the loss of a pet is a big deal.  And because that pet was only yours, no one shares in your grief in quite the same way you do.  However, people have been amazingly understanding and compassionate.

Things that have helped me: being with my family, watching Big Bang Theory and NCIS, snuggling with Aberforth, and listening to Disney music.  I am hoping to feel better soon.

Albus

It is with sadness that I tell you that yesterday, my sweet kitty Albus passed away.  It was all very fast and unexpected, and overall a very traumatic and awful experience I'd rather stop re-living again and again, so I won't talk about that.

Albus, you were the greatest friend in a cat I could have asked for in the past year and a half.  You came to me a short while after a really rough time, and helped me heal.  In times when I felt alone, you were there for me.  And even during the times that sometimes I felt like you got a little under my skin by having your night terrors running from one end of the apartment to another, jumping on the counters and dining table, and stealing all of my hair ties to play with them, you still loved me unconditionally.

I had envisioned having you for many many years.  You being my buddy through thick and thin, until I was well into my thirties.  And I know you would have if you could.

You were always so excited to see me when I got home.  You would be right there at the door to greet me.  I had often heard people say that dogs were just the more lovable and kind animal, I would smile to myself and think, "Not Albus."  You wanted to be everywhere I was.  And you loved everyone you met, also.  Even my dad, who has never liked cats, liked you.

I miss you, Albus.  When I came home to my apartment for the first time last night and you weren't there to greet me, I felt so lonely and heartbroken.  Though I've cried many tears over you and know I will cry more, I will always remember you and the joy you brought me for a year and a half.  It was too short.

He didn't enjoy taking pictures with me. 

 Always so sweet and loving.

The Most Interesting Cat in the World 

This was just a few months ago.  So playful. 

Getting used to a new brother.

Disney Cruise: Days 3&4

Monday morning we were scheduled to go to the Grand Cayman, but due to high winds we were unable to be cleared by port authority.  I was actually totally ok with an extra day at sea, because I most enjoyed our time on the ship anyway. 

Eating a yummy lunch at Cabana's, our favorite breakfast and lunch buffet. 

Sitting out on deck 14 to watch the sunset.  Definitely one of my favorite things to do! 

The beautiful ship at night 

A delicious bananas foster 

One of the many yummy meals I had.  Actually, this was among the biggest portions we were ever served.  One thing I really liked about the ship is that they serve true portions. 

Javier, our state room host, always made our room look awesome after supper! 

Tuesday we sailed into Costa Maya, where we got to go on a tour of the Mayan ruins. 

We're at the Mayan ruins! 

You can't tell here, but I had climbed up some very steep steps to get to the top.

Coca Cola Light in Mexico!

Sitting out by the pool watching a movie, one of our very favorite things to do! 

What about Shoe La La?

Monday and Tuesday were great days on the cruise in my opinion.  Due to the cancelation of the Grand Cayman, we got even more time on the ship to explore and have fun.  We spent much of that day out at the pool, browsing through the shops, and eating good food.  Because of the cancelation, we arrived into Costa Maya extra early and stayed extra late, though we didn't spend any more time off the boat outside of our Mayan tour.  It was difficult to browse through the shops with the sales people constantly trying to grab your attention to come buy something from them!  We had even more interesting experiences with that the next day in Cozumel.

Even though I loved being at the ports, I honestly mostly just enjoyed being on the ship.  After all, I felt like that was what I was paying the big bucks for so why not make the most of it that I could?  There was so much to do.  I never really felt claustrophobic like I thought I might.

I'm still re-living all of last week in my mind.  Can't seem to get back into reality, though I think being back at work tonight will probably help with that all too well.  Anyway, I probably keep repeating myself, but it really was such a wonderful week!