I am sad to be away from family for Christmas this year.

But after saying goodbye to my family tonight before they drive up north tomorrow, I was listening to Christmas music in my car on the drive home. And I was thinking about how Christmas has sort of been stripped down to the bare essentials this year. If even that. But how I have enjoyed the simplicity of that for once. No non-stop Christmas parties, no eating too much food that you're hardly enjoying it... Just overall, drama free.

I'll be working until early Christmas morning, and I'll sleep a little after. Allison will be coming up since she is also stuck in Florida thanks to work. I don't know yet what exactly is planned. Listen to Christmas music, maybe go eat a Christmas dinner somewhere that it's served, see the Hobbit. Simple. We won't be alone, which is what matters.

I love my family, but I am looking forward to a simple Christmas this year. Something I've never really had before.

I got to have Christmas with my family this week before they leave for Illinois without Allison and me. It was fun.

Allison bought me... a Diana camera! I have eyed them for awhile but never knew where to buy one. Anyway, perhaps this makes me a hipster now? Or prepster as I like to call myself, since my style is a mix of those two.

My computer has bit the dust now. I got the blogger app in my phone, but it isn't much good since it still takes twice as long to type anything. Anyway, it'll be a while before I can buy a new computer. Rats. Oh well, there are worse things!

My new, most favorite Christmas tradition ever!  Michael Buble's Home for the Holidays!  I have been a fan of Michael's for a good eight years now, long before he was such a sensation.  This was his second Christmas special, and tonight he referred to it as annual.  So... a new tradition has been born, I hope.

In the fast-paced world, it is nice to have something so simple to look forward to as a Christmas special where you can just sit back and watch your favorite performer sing your favorite Christmas songs.  I swear, at the end when he sang "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," he was singing directly to me.  Ok, so maybe that sounds a little cheesy but it really was a fun special to watch.

I don't have much to look forward to about Christmas this year, but the nostalgia of it all has been my friend.  I try not to spend a lot of time thinking about the "good old days" (try, being the key word- sentimentality is something I fall prey to very easily) but at this time of year you kind of can't help it.

It seems like I can't hear a Christmas song without tying some memory to it.  I decided to write down some of them, if only for the therapeutic value for myself.

I've always loved Christmas.  Since I can remember as a young girl, it has been the one day of the year that I look forward to more than any other.  As I have gotten older, I've realized in large part that was because of Grandma and Grandpa.  They made Christmas what it was.  I took it as a given in those days, not realizing I would not always have that.  And, for a child, that's good.  But as an adult, I still miss it.

When we visited Grandma and Grandpa for Christmas, in the early days we would get there as early as December 17 and stay through Christmas day.  So our Christmas celebrations happened throughout the week, each one as good as the last.  We lived life with Grandma and Grandpa during those times, going to church with them (where we often would sit with Aunt Georgia and Uncle Dick- which, after reading Grandpa's diaries years later, he didn't always appreciate because then people thought we were their grandkids), grocery shopping with them (at Slop'n'Shave... I mean Shop'n'Save), helping in the kitchen, and taking walks to visit the cousins down the street. 

I hate to say it, but my heart really does ache for days like those.  I realize the reality that things will never be the same and that's simply the way it is.  I know I'm an adult in my 20s and should be well beyond yearning for the Christmases of my childhood.  But I'm not and I miss it, and it does help me to remember.  I'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me, because there's nothing to feel sorry for about it.  It is what it is, it's just part of growing up.

Four years ago, the last Christmas I spent with both of my grandparents, I wouldn't have imagined that at this time this would be how I spent Christmas.  Of course, I didn't know how long we would have Grandpa, because he was already in his 90s, but I never could have imagined Grandma would be gone as well.  It's just crazy how much things can change.

I hadn't anticipated how sad Christmastime would make me this year.

I really, really miss my grandparents at this time of year.  I just want to be able to drive up there on the 20th, sleep at their house, eat around the dining room table with all of the ones I love, candles in the middle of the table, with laughter and the warmth of togetherness.  I want to hear Grandma laughing, Aunt Georgia exclaiming how "loverly" everything is, Grandpa saying the dinner prayer that always went on for too long.

I want to sit at their kitchen window watching snow fall outside.  I want to drink green punch and eat party pizzas at the Christmas Eve party.  I want to go to Peck Hall and have the family parties we always did.

I love the memories, but they make my heart ache.  I don't know why.  Usually when I remember my grandparents I'm not sad anymore.  But maybe it's the time of year and knowing that I'll be by myself for Christmas this year that hurts the most.  Christmas has always, always been my favorite time of year.  But I don't know if that's the case anymore, at least not quite as much as it used to be.  Last night I watched Rudolph, and it really made me sad.

Yesterday was the two year anniversary of Grandpa dying.  A lot, a lot has changed since then.

So sorry for the sad post today.  Sometimes you just miss people and you can't help but be sad, and that's how I am today.

Mickey's Very Merry Christmas

The new Little Mermaid ride.  Nostalgia... gotta love it.

Allison waiting for our table at Be Our Guest Restaurant

You can't see it very well, but that is the Beast's castle behind me.  They call it "The Master's Castle"

Be Our Guest Restaurant.  Loved it.

We got to hang out with my cousin Peter and his wife, Heather.  It was a lot of fun!

Cinderella's Castle all decked out in Christmas lights.  Beautiful!