Happy Halloween! Also, from a reformed Presbyterian, happy Reformation Day!

This is one of my favorite days of the year. It always has been. When I was little we didn't trick or treat, but we would always hand out candy to kids in the neighborhood and we did get to dress up for the Reformation party at church.

I'm still feeling a little sick, so I didn't go to work tonight. I will still be handing out candy to the kids in the neighborhood. Oh, I don't suppose I ever mentioned I was sick. On the drive home from DC last week my throat was sore. I moved all my stuff Wednesday, which may have been a bad idea, but I still was able to work Thursday and Friday nights with nothing more than a sore throat. Saturday afternoon I woke up and had no voice and a bad cough, so I decided to call out. Thankfully I did because Sunday I was home all day with an extreme headache and really fatigued and achy. I think I may have had the flu. Anyway, I'm feeling better today but still have a bad cough and a little bit of a headache. So I didn't think working was a great idea.

I hope everyone has a great Halloween/Reformation!

Washington, DC: Day 2

We started out the day eating breakfast at Market Lunch at Eastern Market. Delicious! Allison and I went here last year as well, and it was well worth going back!

Allison and her blue/bucks

Me and my buttermilk pancakes. Mmm!

On Saturdays there is a large open air market at Eastern Market. We walked around for about an hour, and I bought the scarf pictured here.

Then we went to Arlington Cemetery.

The changing of the guard is always impressive.

After we went over to the Crystal City stop and ate at a really delicious sandwich shop. I wish I could remember the name of it.

We finished the night by walking around the monuments at sunset. Unfortunately the reflection pool is all dug up, and does not look pretty at all right now.

Washington, DC: Day 1

Allison at the hotel, eagerly anticipating the days' events.

We started out at the Air and Space Museum.

National Archives, seriously one of my favorite places ever!

This is the Starbucks that Allison and I went to a lot last year. So when we were tired, we decided to go sit at it for about an hour.

Sitting in Starbucks. We saw many wonderful people.

Which one of these is not like the other?

I don't know who that is, but he had some great stories to tell.

Me and Wash. Mon.

We rode the metro a lot!

The trip was awesome, obviously. The first day we hit up the Air and Space Museum, National Archives, and American History Museum. Lots of fun! I LOVE DC and could honestly spend every vacation there. There is just so much to see and do.

Moving

I have moved back to my parents'.

Not for good, of course. I woke up this morning at my parents' house after getting back from DC last night (pictures coming soon). Suddenly I thought about going back to my town house. And as I thought about it, I realized my lease is up in five days. Although I thought I had come to a peaceful conclusion of signing on for another year, I had a sudden panic attack about the whole thing.

Another year. October 2012. Twelve months.

I have no real problems with my roommates. It all came down to a lot of little issues. Little issues that were beginning to amount up to what seemed like big issues and have been causing me undue stress. Could I do it for another year?

I went into my mom's room crying, and she helped me talk and pray through it. Once I made the decision, I felt peace and relief. Then realized today was the only day I had to move anything. And felt really overwhelmed. Thank goodness I hadn't signed the lease yet.

Between my mom, dad, Lauren, and Brennan, in twelve hours I had everything packed and moved over to my parents' house. It meant so much to have friends help me out, especially last minute in the middle of the week. I know there were many other things they could have been doing, but instead they helped me move.

It's going to be interesting being back at my parents' house (hopefully I'll find something within a month or two). Already my cat Albus is having a rough time adjusting. I'm hoping after a few days he will settle down, or otherwise this could be interesting.

On a side note, my time in DC was awesome! I will definitely be posting about that soon.

Tomorrow I am going to Washington, DC. I went last year and I'm so excited to go back! This time I'm going with my mom, sister, brother, and my mom's best friend.

The weather will be cool, the colors will be beautiful, and the company will be wonderful. I'm so excited.

While YOU were sleeping....

This is the story of two nurses, Natalie and Allison. While this is an exciting and wonderful tale, I also want you to know one thing. This is an atypical night for these two nurses. You see, Natalie came into work that night and found out she was orienting a nurse and only had to take care of one patient. These two nurses, also sisters who live one in Orlando and the other in Jacksonville, worked the same night in different cities. They decided to do a night in pictures. Here, let me tell you about it.

Natalie, waiting for her one patient assignment.

Allison, enjoying the first of a few Diet Cokes.
Diet Coke keeps a nurse sane, you see (or at least these two nurses).

10:30 pm: Natalie enjoying a pizza break.
Breaks don't usually come this early.
They also don't usually involve pizza. Although she wishes they did.

10:30 pm: Allison's view from the nurse's station.
Halloween is around the corner!

Natalie's exact words: An Angel of Mercy
(right?!)

Allison's response? Angel of Terror!
She takes her job very, very seriously.
Patients must feel at ease when this nurse walks in their room.

Midnight: Natalie is getting ready to write her shift reports...

...while Allison is enjoying a refreshing snack of ice cream.

1:30 am: Natalie ventures off the floor...

...for a refreshing beverage!

Allison taking a ride on the elevator that smells like sweaty men.

She has to bladder scan one of her patients.
One of the many exciting things that nurses get to do.

1:45: Natalie pauses to reflect on the night, whilst enjoying a Diet Coke.

This is a nurse who cares, she really does!
She was demonstrating to her sister her reaction upon patients incessantly harassing her for pain medication. Bear in mind the sarcasm.

Allison enjoying-- more Diet Coke?

The night has ended for Natalie.

For Allison, as well.

A sweet kitty greets Natalie at home.

And Allison protects her patients by getting her flu shot.

These nurses sleep during the day, and take care of people during the night. Now they are home safe and sound, relaxing, and resting so that they can take care of people again next week.

Another early morning here for Nat. I decided to do something I rarely do and eat breakfast (on nights, there is no true breakfast/lunch/supper), so I made oatmeal and had a big glass of water with my kitties. Five am breakfast, who could say no? And I still got about five hours of sleep, so I can't complain.

I feel like I should add a disclaimer to that other post on Saturday. I don't truly hate being a nurse, even though maybe it sounded like I do. Talk to many nurses, and the things I say about it are a common thread. It isn't an easy job--it is a very difficult job. It drains me emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, and in just about every other way possible. It's sometimes really hard to leave all that at work. When you just took care of a young woman in persistent vegetative state, or got reamed on the phone by a doctor, or spent part of the night crying in the bathroom from being overwhelmed, sometimes it is just really hard to leave it there.

There is a lot of disillusionment into adulthood, as I'm sure everyone else feels at some point. The career one works so hard to achieve is one of them.

In addition to that, I'm truly thankful that I have a job. There are many people who would give anything to work, and I should be more grateful instead of complaining. Again, I have a hard time being unaffected by stress.

It's a blustery day here. We are under the effects of what they call a Nor'Easter. Which I LOVE!!! Have I mentioned that I absolutely LOVE rain, wind, cloudy skies, and cool weather all rolled up into one? Well, I do. I don't know why. Gloomy weather somehow puts me in a really good mood. Perhaps because it gives me the excuse I always want to just chill and stay in for the day. Which as I mentioned last night, I also love doing. Today I may grab a friend and drive to the beach for a walk.

I'm thinking of studying for my certification in med-surg. I always used to say I would do that a year after graduation and the other day one of my work buddies mentioned it. And I remembered that was one of the goals I set for myself and I have yet to follow through. Gosh cause I sure hate studying! But I should do it. It is an expensive exam and there aren't a lot of dates to do it. But there is a possibility in April, giving me months to prepare. Not only that, but it is also about time I get ACLS-certified.

Well, this tired girl may take a little cat nap before facing the day. Starting to feel just a little sleepy.

There are few things I love more than a night in, relaxing with a movie.

That's what I'm doing right now. Lord of the Rings it is, and I'm already about to doze off. It's gonna be an early night for Nat!

I'm glad I still know married people who like to hang out with me. Even though Lauren got married, she and Brennan are cool with me coming over to their apartment. Invited, of course. Last night we watched Lion King and Newsies!

I'm about to fall asleep so good night.

It's always interesting to me how upon meeting people, they are so impressed with my choice of a career. Not really surprising, since nursing has long been considered an autonomous and respectable profession. People are often surprised to find out here I am, just 24 years old, with two years of professional nursing already under my belt. I always want to tell them don't be at all impressed. I don't look in the mirror and see anything to be proud of.

I suppose I am proud of the fact that I didn't play around in college or get a degree simply to get the letters behind my name and be done with it. I did work really hard in college, and all four years I worked toward the specific goal of becoming an RN. I'm proud of it, but also have many regrets because of it. The things I thought were the most important (studying, a career, financial independence), it turns out aren't. I let relationships fall to the wayside in the meantime. I withdrew from many commitments at church. I made little effort to be involved in campus ministries, although to be fair I did attend the Baptist ministry on campus (I know, funny right?!) with a couple of my nursing school buddies.

And now I've come out on the other side. I'm financially independent, although not well off by any means. I have a car and can afford some of the things I used to only dream of in college. Great, right? Yeah. I also have very few friends these days. Sure, there are several long-term friendships I have maintained, which I am ever grateful for. But the last time I made a new friend? I don't know. Probably four years ago when I got into nursing school. I have roommates, but have never made real connections with any of them. All of this is only my fault, I know. My focus was so intent upon school, my job, etc, that I lost any real purpose in life for awhile. It's true, that first year working as a nurse I was depressed, angry, anxious, and didn't seek God.

Depressed because the job and its "perks" weren't what I had expected. Angry, because here I was, having done it all the "right" way, yet life was only happening to everyone else. Anxious most of the time, because I constantly feared messing up in my job. And as a result, I didn't want anything to do with God. Oh, I went to church. But any real relationship? It wasn't there. I gave all outward appearances of being spiritually strong, when in reality I was dying on the inside.

It's been a long road since then, and still a ways to go yet. In many ways, the struggles through the last year of lost relationships, lost grandparents that were a constant source of strength, and just dealing with myself, have been a good thing (or at least a growing thing). I think that when my grandpa died, it shook me out of a really selfish state of mind I had been living in for quite some time. And just when I thought it was done and God had "dealt with me," (as if it was all about me, right?) my grandma died. It forced me to look up. To re-evaluate everything. I sought God for the first time in a couple of years. I can't say I'm the same person today that I was nine months ago.

There are still issues in my life with bitterness, anxiety, and just a general struggle with being content. Being 24 years old, I could throw a book at you filled with all the things I thought my life would be at this point. My ultimate goal was never that of an independent woman, even though that financial independence and stability was important to me all through school. And yet here I am. And I don't know how soon that will change, if it ever will. I've watched nearly all of my friends get married and have babies, some of them having their second babies already. No, this isn't all about my being single and alone, as that isn't even something I dwell on most days. But as far as the journey in life, and what my intentions were in starting out, sometimes it's hard to come to terms with. Nursing was just something I was pursuing because it was there. I didn't think I'd have to do it for very long, yet here I am.

Just finished three nights of work. I think my favorite thing about working a full-time job is coming home after that last day! It is like a huge burden lifted, and knowing I don't have to go back tonight is the best part. If I want I can sleep until 10 o'clock tonight! (not that I will) It was a pretty good three nights. The kind that kept me on my toes, which I like.

Now I'm watching one of my all-time favorite shows, Boy Meets World. It is cloudy outside with just a drizzle of rain. Absolutely perfect for sleeping all day! Good "night!"

After church today my mom, sister, and I along with a friend got our nails done. Promise you I'm not a high-maintenance girl who has to have it, it is honestly very relaxing and afterward you feel just a little prettier. Ok, not like I have to defend it so why am I? Huh, maybe cause my little sister declared me "high maintenance" because I refused to roll the windows down, and wanted to use the AC. (said little sister also never had to drive a car with broken AC...) ;)

Anyway, on my drive back to my town house, I decided to take a detour to Riverside. I love driving by myself and could do it for hours just listening to my music. If I had more money for gas, I would do it more often. But today I decided to do it. My own little Sunday afternoon drive, if you will. With Nickel Creek playing (what is it about fall that makes me want to play Nickel Creek all the time?) and alone with my thoughts, I was happy as could be during that hour.

Listening to my music. Ignore the junk on the floor. My car, my rules.

Note the newly painted nails, ready for fall!
Yeah that's right, the spedometer is 55 and I'm taking pictures
Promise I watched the road.

An awesome little storefront. It was always one of my favorite places to drive by when I was driving to early clinicals in nursing school.

Love the tree-lined streets.

A park at Riverside. I wanted to get out and walk, but there seem to be a lot of creepers around the area. And since I value my well-being, I thought better of it.

This is a church I used to pass coming home from my clinicals at St. Vincent's. Once I passed a wedding party taking pictures out front, and so now I always think of weddings when I drive this way. Which isn't very often.

One of the many beautiful homes in Riverside. This is one of the smaller ones, too. Whenever I drive through these old little neighborhoods, I always imagine 40 or 50 years ago, people sitting out on their porch, kids riding their bikes, just a simpler time.

Then on the way back I stopped at Target, and the sweetest little boy, probably about two years old, thought for sure I was his mommy. It was really sweet, even if only by mistake, to be called Mommy. Ok, sounds silly and I sound like a sap but there you go. Got it out of my system, done. I really wanted to buy the fall boots they have out at Target, but you can be proud that I resisted!

It's been a grand several days off, filled with being with friends, birthday parties for friends' kids, church, and family. I need some time to relax and recuperate before heading back to work Tuesday. I have yet to feel rested at all from wedding weekend. Haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a week now.

OH! One more thing. I passed the pumpkin patch yesterday and bought myself a great big pumpkin! Now wouldn't it be cute to get a picture of my kitty right next to it, him being a cute little Halloween cat? Anyway, the weather's cooled down (temporarily) and it's October, the pumpkin spice lattes are out (even though I get coffee most of the time). It's fall and I'm happy!