Dear 16-year-old Me

Dear 16-year-old Me,

I'm 25 now.  In the past 9 years, believe me- we've come a long way.  We are very much still the same person, yet in so many ways very different.

You're really awkward right now.  I know.  You're way taller than all of your friends, your arms and legs are too long, and you haven't yet filled out- and still won't for a few more years.  Sorry.  Sometimes you feel like you're still so much younger than everyone else around you.  You want so much to grow up, to be something more than you are right now.  Right now you think that the most important thing is to find yourself a husband and get married to him so you can be a mom.  Your dreams are short-sighted and limited, but inside of you there is so much more to you that you haven't even begun to tap into.

Many of the people you call "friend" right now, you won't within the next several years.  Don't worry about what everyone thinks about you all the time.  You do have a few true, good friends that will be with you through thick and thin.  You'll stick by them and be glad that you did.  That guy you like that never notices you, well, you should probably know that someday you're going to be more successful than he is, and will find that there really was never much to him.  It's ok.  And it really doesn't get easier, I wish I could tell you that it does.

You will probably be devastated that while I am writing you this letter, I am still not married.  And guess what?  You're going to be ok.  You're going to learn that you have so much potential in life... that there are so many things you can do!  You're going to be a nurse someday, but right now you don't think so.  It's going to be hard, but stick through it and you'll do well.  Believe me.  You'll learn to be independent.  You will grow to love traveling.  You will learn that you can do so many things you never thought you could.

One last thing?  You aren't fat.  You. Are. Not. Fat.  You aren't chubby.  You are thin and fit.  You don't need to diet.  Exercise because it's good for you, not because you hate your body.  Someday you're going to look back at yourself and wonder why you ever thought such horrible things.  Love your body and take care of it.

Believe me... life isn't going to turn out the way you think it will at all.  Sometimes you're going to be lonely.  You will be sad when life's circumstances seem so out of your control.  Quit thinking you have a plan for your life, and just enjoy it.  These are the days you will look back upon so fondly.  And guess what.  I still haven't arrived.  I still have so much more growing to do.  We're in for a crazy ride!

Love,

25-year-old Me

I got back on Wednesday from an awesome week in Cleveland!  I will post pictures another time.  The best way I can think to describe the week is: good times with friends, laughing, pumpkin patches, pumpkin carving, B Spot burgers and chili cheese fries, rainy cold weather, lots of leisurely breakfasts out, Big Bang Theory, Harry Potter, and again- good times with friends!  Thanks, Lindsey, for letting me come visit!

I got to catch up with another one of my oldest friends, Sarah.  We met when we were just eight years old, and she moved away when we were nine.  But she visited a couple of times early on, and after visiting Cleveland two years ago, we once again re-connected.  This time we had more than one chance to hang out while I was there, and it was lots of fun laughing and talking about the good times.  And, realizing there are other people in the world with Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and soundtrack obsessions, and who hate New Girl.

Now it's back to reality.  I missed my kitty and I missed my little apartment, and it is good to be back.  I do wish good times like that could come around more often.  Until next time, then!

The first thing I have to say after watching this video, is a resounding AMEN.

It must be noted that Jennifer Livinston invited the writer of the letter, Kenneth Krause, on to discuss the attacks, but he didn't.  He stands by his remarks.  All I can say is, what a jerk.  If somebody is overweight, don't you think they know that??  Who does he think he is, pointing it out for her and then going on to tell her she is an unsuitable role model simply for being fat in a public position?

I think what makes me angriest about this, is that you would never see an overweight male news anchor receive this letter.  I don't recall anybody caring that Al Roker was overweight several years ago.  It's the cultural obsession we have with women's bodies being perfect that drives this.  I'm not saying that men and boys who are fat don't get bullied, because they do.  I know those who have.  But in the public eye, it truly is the women who suffer when it comes to body image.  Say what you will, but it is the truth.

I'm not saying men don't feel pressure to look a certain way.  I know that as far as body building goes, guys can get addicted to that because of the pressure to be muscular and built.  But I can't speak from that perspective, so I won't.

I'll only say that as a woman, there is an intense pressure to not only be thin, but still have that hourglass figure.  Have the right cup size.  But your legs need to be long too, so wear heels and they'll look longer.  But don't be too tall (ok, maybe this is one only for the tall girls).  We hate our hip size, our "mama's arms," our size, our noses, our hair, our boobs.  Why do you think women constantly dye, straighten, perm, curl, their hair?  There is an astounding number of women who get boob jobs.  In my work experience, I've known a few who have.  Why?  Who says that a 32A is the wrong size?  I guess society does, I don't know.  But something makes us think there is something "wrong" with the way we look.  Last year my friend and I were talking about a particular female band, and when mentioning one I said, "It's the one whose eyes are too close together."  Then I thought, who says whether someone's eyes are too close together or too far apart?  By what standard am I measuring something like that?

Well, anyway, these are some seriously disorganized thoughts but after that story was out yesterday I have been thinking a lot more about the whole idea of body image.

I'm looking in the mirror, and I am going to try my best to not have any standard that I'm measuring myself up against.  Anyway, most of those standards are fake.

Thanks to a friend's Pinterest board that she made to promote a positive body image, I was inspired to make several boards on my own Pinterest to promote my own positive body image.  One I made simply called "Body Image."  On this board I chose inspirational quotes, celebrities who have "normal" bodies, full-figured women, etc.  My other boards are "Curly Hair," and "Tall Girls."

I hope to not only promote a positive body image in myself, but to encourage other women to as well.  One pin, of the Ryan Gosling "Hey Girl" memes, simply states: "Hey girl, start a revolution.  Stop hating your body."  Although meant to be funny, it struck me as very poignant and thought-provoking.  It doesn't mean let yourself go, be as unhealthy as you want.  However, there is a point where one has to say, this is my body.  Why am I letting the opinions of people I know and people I have never even met and never will meet, affect how I view myself?  Affect how I treat myself, and how I view others as well?

I always felt I was born with an unfortunate combination of characteristics.  Even though I feel I have done a fairly good job of loving my body, there have been many other aspects of myself I have hated.

It sound cliche, but there really is no one else on earth like me.  And that is the truth, even if it is a cheesy truth.