So, I wrote the other day about one of my favorite TV shows, Survivor.  And that I really particularly liked the winner of this season.  Cochran, a 25 year old Harvard law school graduate, was on the show this time as a favorite.  This was his second time playing.  A self-proclaimed super Survivor fan who has loved the show and even written his thesis on the jury system of Survivor, his first time on Survivor he was the biggest underdog there.  A fish out of water among the super-toned, six-pack abs, tanned and good-looking people that usually star on the show--he was bullied constantly, made fun of, and made to feel like the weak link the entire time.  I even remember thinking that CBS owed the world a PSA regarding bullying every week during that season of Survivor, because it was so painful to watch.  Ultimately he betrayed his tribe by flipping to another alliance, though one couldn't blame him after how awfully he was treated.

Of course, the first time around Cochran was insecure, afraid to take off his shirt, afraid of what people thought about him.  This time around, he just didn't care.  He played a confident game, and what I think was one of the most strategic games I've seen-- and with a lot more class than many of the other notorious strategists of past seasons.

So, why am I even going on about this at all?  I don't know anyone who watches Survivor or even cares about it.  Well, something that Cochran said in the reunion show really stuck with me.  He was comparing his second time around with the first, explaining what he felt was different.  How the first time, he was afraid that people would peg him as the socially awkward geek that he was, and how that had changed the second time around.

"Instead of those eccentricities and quirks being a source of embarrassment and anxiety for me, I accepted it as a reality of my existence and that's immensely liberating because I got to focus on the game this time instead of worrying about how I am perceived which really ruined my game the first time-- being able to focus on the game I've loved for half my life."

The reason this really stuck with me, is that this is something I think a lot of us must come to terms with in ourselves.  Owning who we are and not apologizing for it.  All of us must wake up each day and face the world.  Face people who think we are strange, or even stupid.  We must go to work, deal with difficult co-workers,  handle reality, and pay our bills.  But going through this while trying to be someone we aren't?  Or feeling incredibly insecure and caring about what others think about you every single day?  No thanks.  Liberating is the perfect word to describe owning your quirks, your social awkwardness, your "un-coolness" (all of which describe me).