Almost a year has gone since the death of Grandpa.

As I was leaving work this morning, I was thinking about the whole process of grief through the last year. The majority of the past twelve months have been a real process of grieving for me. I still remember when we knew he would die and thinking, "How will we go on without him?" It's amazing that a year ago at this time, I couldn't imagine a life without my grandparents. The hardest days were in March and April after my Grandma died. It was truly devastating.

I still miss him. I miss both of them. After my grandparents died, we found a beautiful note from Grandpa to my Grandma on Mothers Day '02. Grandpa often praised her, but their love was one that simply shouted itself from the rooftops and didn't need to prove itself to anyone but each other. To read this note was so beautiful, and gave me a whole new insight into the kind of man that he was. He ended with, "Will you please join me in several more years of wedded bliss? I don't want to move into the future without you." In another from Valentine's '99, he wrote, "Let's consider this as the first day of the rest of our lives..." As mushy as all that sounds, it was love that was tried and true, through 64 and 1/2 years.

I still miss Grandpa. A lot. The corny jokes he could tell, the unsolicited advice he gave, and the lectures on finding a husband starting from the day I turned 18. He would have loved to live to see every one of his grandchildren married. This last year of grieving has sucked. No doubt about it. But I hope my memory of him always remains as fresh and real as it is today.