Change

At work last night a very blunt co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you gaining weight?  You look like you are gaining weight."

I have joined weight watchers again.  It hit me when I looked in the mirror... though I don't want to be skinny, I am not the healthy woman that I once was.  I am determined to take better care of myself.  I have accepted that I am the over-looked, chubby but still confident girl, and I won't do that anymore.

I realize I've said a lot of stuff about accepting myself and loving myself and that is still true for me.  I still look in the mirror and see something that I like, but I know that it just isn't the best I can be when I am not healthy.

I am posting this so that I am accountable.  I want to continue to love myself but to do it better.  I have been doing myself a disservice for the rest of my life by not taking care of my health.  That ends today.  I know it won't be perfect.  I know I work nights, and it's going to be extra hard because of that.

I've seen dieting done the wrong way.  I have never watched somebody diet and exercise the right way.  Not once.  With great fear I am starting this, because I don't want to become somebody who is obsessed and preoccupied with food.  I want to be the best Nat that I can be.

The thing is, I'm still within the healthy weight range... but pushing the limits and I'm ready to change that.  Ready to look my best and feel my best.