Been feeling beaten down in every aspect of my life lately. I have a hard time realizing that I will never be enough. You know what I figured out recently? I will never love Jesus enough. I will never be perfect enough. I will never even be good enough, or just enough in general. I think I have always expected to find myself having reached some level of holiness, only to find that I never will. Simply put, Jesus is enough and that is enough.

It is WINDY outside tonight! Very eery. I don't like it.

Has anyone else seen the previews for Epic Mickey on Wii? Looks awesome! I am going to have to get one and see for myself.

I still have my Christmas shopping to do. Is it Christmas? I think I forgot to change my calendar or something and it's still November. I have never had any problem getting into the Christmas spirit. This year I don't even want to. It isn't bitterness or stress, I am just sad and weary. Life is changing... and I don't think I like it. I don't find joy in anything right now. When I'm with people, outwardly I smile, but on the inside I feel empty and dry. Ick. I don't like it.

Work is still not good. I feel like I make no difference whatsoever at that place. I need prayer when I walk through those doors. 0700 and it is nonstop until 1900 or even later. I can't do it. Emotionally I feel as though I can't handle it. People are hurting, lonely, sick.... and I cannot be all of those things to them. Not to six people. I don't know why I chose to do this. I am bringing the stress home with me, I can't turn my mind off after I get home. I think about what I did and didn't do. Seriously, all I ever wanted to be was a stay-at-home mom... not this! I can't do this for the rest of my life.

Shake it off Nat. I am tired. I think tonight, I am going to put on a movie and go to bed. Good night.