Seeing my dear Grandma in those last days was difficult. I've had to remind myself of the Grandma from 15 years ago, or even just last summer. The Grandma full of life and energy.

To know this woman was to love her. She was simply amazing. She had a heart full of love for everyone she knew, even to the end. She never put herself first, not once (even in the hospital bed, hardly able to breathe, she still had concern for everyone but herself). She lived to serve and love others before herself. She had a laugh that was infectious.

We found letters between her and my Grandpa from the war. As I read some of them (there are hundreds), I can see even then how loving and selfless she was. She was my age when she married my Grandpa. He always only had good things to say about her. We found a Valentine note in their room that he wrote to her in 2002, so beautiful and loving and tender. After all those years, they were still in love with each other.

My heart hurts and it will for a long time. There is a huge void where those good people once were.

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." -Psalm 126:5&6

I realize that losing one's grandparents isn't the most devastating event that can occur. Death in old age is a very normal part of life. However, losing my grandparents has been like losing two very wonderful friends. They were two of my biggest encouragers, they rooted for me in all that I did. They were my pen pals throughout most of my life. They taught me to love, to see the best in people. From my Grandpa I learned the value of hard work and education and finding the good in any situation, no matter how difficult. From my Grandma I learned the value of being a woman of virtue, one who saw the best in every person, one whose family could do nothing but sing her praises. Has anyone ever had a bad word to say about my Grandmother? I don't think so. You would be hard pressed to find any one person that could have ever had anything negative to say about her.

I miss them. Plain and simple, I want them here with us on earth. I know they are in heaven, reunited, happy and whole with Jesus. I don't really know exactly what heaven will be like... but my aunt said she thinks of the verse how no eye has seen nor ear has heard nor mind can understand all that the Lord has prepared for those who love Him. (I realize I haven't quoted it quite perfectly...) And she believes this speaks of heaven, how we can't even begin to imagine how wonderful it will be. I think of all the best things I've had in life, and even that can't compare to how heaven will be. Will we know each other, will I be able to hug my Grandma and Grandpa and tell them how much I missed them? Will I remember how much I missed their absence on this earth? I don't know. The joy will be so overwhelming...

Right now it is my hope of heaven that keeps me going. I will see them again. As my Grandma laid on her death bed in those last hours, I looked at her and realized something amazing. For her, life was really only beginning. It wasn't the end, really. No, this was where it all was beginning for her. I wonder what her reunion in heaven was like? Did Aunt Georgia and Great Grandpa run to meet her? Aunt Georgia probably exclaimed how "loverly" it was to finally see her again. Was Grandpa taking one of his daily walks, and asking her to join him? Are they walking hand-in-hand right now? I don't know. I do know that she received a "Well done, good and faithful servant" from Jesus.

I need to stop writing now, because I'm sure I could ramble on and on for hours about my dear grandparents. I will be happy again, I must believe that. Life has yet to bring more joys and sorrows, and I have to carry on. Another look through my childhood scrap book today, and I found a note from Grandpa that I seemed to have missed in December:

"Your letter just now arrived when I was on the internet. I want you to have a good day. I know you miss us and we miss you, but we have to take life as it comes to us and enjoy it. You do have a good life in Florida. Say hello to everyone for me. Keep writing. Keep your letters coming. Keep the faith. Love, Grandpa."