Ever have one of those days where you just feel emotional about everything, and for no reason? That is me today. Just a "blah" day. I think part of it is nerves about tomorrow. Realizing a lot is about to change. I resist change, even good change! I wonder if I will ever be able to accept it without a fight. My responsibilities are about to increase, I won't see my family as much, and even the thought of holidays being different sucks. I'm so excited about my new job, yet this morning I found myself almost wishing I were back in school. Maybe it all wasn't so bad as I thought it was.

I think I tend to be over nostalgic about life. I attach too many wonderful memories to everything. I hear a song and I am taken back to a different time. I have two bins full of mostly junk in my room that I can't bear to get rid of because of the memories attached. A drop cloth with doodlings all over it made by Lauren and I one year the week before VBS. A piece of cloth from my baby blanket. A little bag I used to keep my small stash of money in as a child. Yesterday I found two tote bags, one from being a Voyager, the other from being a Pathfinder. Probably most of the girls from those classes threw those bags away a long time ago, but I still have mine. I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing that I'm like this, always holding onto memories, to better days, to hopes that maybe life will just be that wonderful and simple again. It's as though I'm afraid that if I were to throw away those material items, I would be throwing away the memory. I would forget, and I don't want to forget.

Whoa, I think I should probably stop writing. Can you tell I'm having one of those days? New job tomorrow, and I'm EXCITED, even if I am scared.