Growing up isn't easy. Leaving behind the rose-tinted glasses of your childhood to clearly see the reality of life is hard. I still struggle with it and I'm 22.

I've been through a lot in the last year. Not really in the sense that things have "happened" to me. I have grown farther way from God than ever in my life, and of my own doing. I've grown tired of church, tired of the routine. I have found the Bible boring, and it was no longer alive to me. My life has just felt... dry. Tiring. Wearisome. Recently hearing of people leaving the faith can shake you to the core. Yet I had to ask myself, how far away from that position am I? I have grown bored of the Christian life, tired of being good, and extremely lukewarm in my faith. How long can a person sit on the fence?

But today, I opened my Bible. I opened my Bible to read it for the first time in nearly 10 months. It felt good. Maybe I didn't receive any revelations. I didn't read anything I hadn't read before, yet I know it is truth. God speaks through Scripture. I know this to be truth, although at times I don't see it. I can wander all that I want. I can fight it all that I want. Nothing, nothing I do or say can change the truth about Who God is. I can't change what Christ did for me. I've wandered, yet He still died for me, still He calls me His own. I'm Thomas. I have spent much of my life in doubt. Yet He forgave me yesterday, and He forgives me today.

It's not an easy truth to grasp. It isn't as simple as "Jesus Loves Me," yet it is. Today I found myself thinking, if I don't choose to turn to Christ again now, I may never. I can't keep saying "tomorrow."