I'm back in Bible Study Fellowship this year, absolutely loving it. We are studying the acts of the apostles, which goes through the Book of Acts and the epistles written to the early church. I suppose I already mentioned that I completed about half of this study in my senior year of high school, at a time when I was in such need of it. It seems that God knew I needed this one again.

One of the ways in which I'm already convicted is my conduct within the workplace. Now, it isn't as if I walk through those doors and I'm swearing like a sailor, yelling at people, and treating my patients like crap. I'm pretty sure that most of my co-workers would tell you I'm a nice enough person. But the ways in which I conduct myself, I don't feel it is in any way being the image of Christ. Obviously I will never be perfect at this, as nobody will. Each day I go, telling myself I'm going to have a good attitude, and immediately that is down the tubes as my assignment is heavy, my patients are crabby and demanding, and I can't meet all six of their needs in any way possible.

It isn't good enough to "have a good attitude" and people will see Christ in me. Last night our leader asked the question, is the Holy Spirit silent and wounded within me? In what ways am I quenching His dominance in my life, and there are many I know. Do I conduct myself in a way that is pleasing to God, not for His approval and earning the salvation He has already given me freely, but for His glory? When I say a curse word because I'm angry (not only is that wrong, but it's totally unprofessional even if it's only around my co-workers) what is that telling people? Who or what am I controlled by?

I suppose one of the frustrations I've begun to have within my church, which shuns legalism (and well it should), is the "freedom" that many people, myself included, believes this gives us ("we're better and more free than those Baptists down the street who pretend they don't drink"). Swear all you want. Drink all you want. Mess up and don't worry, because God's going to forgive you. On and on it goes. We don't even worry about the actual consequences of allowing these things to come in and take hold of us, because God is always going to forgive us. We look no different than the world. I believe we walk a fine line between shunning legalism and being openly accepting of blatant sin within our own lives. There becomes little focus on glorifying Christ and sanctification.

Now, I don't believe drinking, in moderation, is wrong (I enjoy a glass of wine or a margarita on occasion). I don't judge Christians who swear. Those are just examples of things I see really prevalent, at times to excess, within Christian circles I am in, and yes I do occasionally fall into them myself.

I am thankful that my salvation doesn't rest on my or anyone else's ability to obey. If this comes across as sounding a little judgmental, I'm sorry, because it isn't meant to be that way at all. In the end, I'm glad that I serve a God who is forgiving and loving.