Thank goodness I have finally made it back to work! Yesterday was particularly difficult, however. First of all because I had a trach patient, and that is always more time consuming, but also because I did not realize how exhausted I would be after being sick (and still trying to get over it). You would think after doing nothing for 4 days I might feel rested. Not. So, thank goodness for 3 days off!

Being a nurse definitely has its pros, and certainly has its cons. Depending on where you work, you typically will work no more than 3-4 days a week. The flip side of that is that those days are typically anywhere from 12-14 hours, depending on how a day goes. In my case I work days, but I can't always be guaranteed that. Of course, when I tell people I work 3 days a week, all they see is that I get 4 days off. Those days are rarely consecutive, and the first of any amount of days off is recuperation day. As in, waking up the next day actually feels like waking up with a hangover.

Nursing is exhausting to the body, the mind, and the heart. If I stop too long to think about what some of my patients go through, it is too much. I can't be too involved with them emotionally, which was hard at first-- and still is sometimes. Once I went home crying after an old man was told he had terminal cancer. Not to say that still wouldn't affect me terribly, but I have come to realize I can't get so involved. There's a reason that I don't talk much about patients. I have to leave it at work.

Sometimes I think I have to be careful when I talk about nursing. At times I think I do it at the cost of offending others, but it isn't as though I don't think other jobs are stressful, or difficult, or draining, etc. It's just that nursing is what I know. There are a lot of other things I couldn't do (sometimes I think nursing might be one of them!). But right now, there is not much going on in my life outside of work. I think nursing has grown me a lot. I love to hate it and hate to love it. But really, I do love it. I just don't want people to think I don't give credence to other professions and jobs. I am afraid I come off as if I don't, and I really don't mean to.

I am hoping to get back into a routine after traveling and then being sick. Although reading that sentence makes me laugh, because I don't even think I have a routine outside of work! Um... I wake up? Sometimes I watch the news? Sometimes I read, sometimes I take a nap? Wow! That is pretty sad. Still, I'm hoping to really feel better soon and hear out of my left ear again.