Life has thrown me for a loop in the last couple of weeks.

Thanks to medication and therapy, I honestly stabilized and felt... human.  While I am today nowhere near the dark place I was two and a half months ago, I have been noticing over the last two to three weeks a decline.  Slow, yes, and thankfully I shared it with my therapist and was strongly encouraged to go in for a re-evaluation for medication.  Otherwise I probably would have waited another month.

We changed medication, actually.  I requested it after talking it over with my therapist.  So I just feel a little off this week.  Or a lot off, really.  I relapsed big time with my ED, (hence yesterday's post) and am mentally working on recovering from that one.

It's odd to me that this level of functioning (worse, actually) was my normal, everyday life.  I never thought I needed to get help with it, or at least I never felt brave enough to.  It seemed like "Well, this is my lot in life, and I better learn how to deal with it."  Despite all that is going on, I still have a deep sense of hope.  I don't feel dead inside, just a little... lethargic, how's that for a mental health description?

Frustration with myself seems to be my number one issue, and I hope that I can learn to be kind to myself.  Because I'm just not very good at that.