Having a bad day.
Man, it really sucks to have a bad day. I feel like these are the days where no matter how many pep talks I give myself, I'm still not enough. Today, right now, I don't like myself. I feel that hard work isn't paying off, and I'm frustrated. Even though I feel better (and I'm glad for that, don't get me wrong) I just wish I could change the way I look overnight.
And feeling like an ugly duckling in a world of beautiful, skinny people, I am sure that is what's wrong with me. I just saw on facebook this week a girl that I led in small group (a good six or seven years younger than I) just got engaged. It isn't to say I'm not happy for her. But WTF! It just makes me go down the line and look at every person I know who's married wondering what they've got that I haven't. I don't normally give two craps about it, but for some reason I'm just in a really negative mindset today. So please, don't mind me.
I did have a productive day so far. I went grocery shopping and got my apartment clean! That's a good feeling. I always let it get messy, then after I clean it I swear that I will never let it get that way again. Ha! I have gotten better about the maintenance of it compared to a couple of years ago. But still... it's kind of embarrassing how horrible my domestic skills are.
I have plans to go to the beach tomorrow with a friend, and meet up with my nursing school bff Bela tomorrow night. So there are reasons to be happy! Just have to look for them.
Hope you are having a better day than I am. I know I will feel better, but I just need a chance to feel lousy for now. That is all.
1 comment:
Just wanted to say how much I appreciate your honesty. You're not alone, you're not ugly. I know that sometimes (most times?) this is exactly what our internal dialogue is and how hard it is to combat that inner voice. Hope you're having a better day today. If you need to talk, feel free to give me a call.
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