I've been caught the past several weeks in a lot of long stretches of work, with long (seemingly endless) stretches of days off in between. A cycle of extreme, chaotic stress followed by exhausted, lethargic, endless days. Not that I'm complaining to have many days off, but unless I have someone visiting or am going somewhere, it just isn't worth it to have all that time off. It's like I'm going, going, going... then crash and burn for several days.
It's been rough. Coupled with the short daylight hours (and probably the recent holiday season away from family), it's triggered a lot of anxiety, feelings of uselessness, depression, low appetite, and extreme insomnia. Life itself isn't bad, but I myself have not been doing too well. I'm not trying to present this as a way to complain or make people feel sorry for me, nor am I crying out for help. I still have a good head on my shoulders and am definitely learning how to deal with this in various ways. It isn't completely debilitating. But it certainly is exhausting and a very real struggle. Perhaps more on it another time.
However there have been many positives as well. I have made some pretty great friends along the way, and begun attending a church out here that I think I am going to love. My shy and somewhat awkward personality upon first meeting, coupled with my anxiety makes meeting new people tough. But I'm putting myself out there, meeting people, and doing my best to keep busy. I am planning some days coming up to learn how to ski here soon, (totally ready to embrace this winter weather!) and still doing my best to get out and run despite the weather. A back injury has kept me laying low this week, but I am hopeful to be up and running soon.
So, there are some adjustments to be made... some days are good, and some days are bad. But I'm finding that I'm loving Spokane and feel very content here right now. Ready and excited for more adventures, and to see what's next!
No comments:
Post a Comment