Enough

As I reflect on my life the past year and a half... but most especially the past year...

I see so much growth.  Life has thrown me so many curveballs in that time.  It has been good... hard at times, but mostly good.  I saw a quote the other day that read along these lines, "Something will grow out of this difficult time.  It's you."  And it's true.  So true.

There are many cliches that you could throw at me right now, but the truth is I feel as though I've been punched in the stomach and I won't be recovering anytime soon.  I know that in life I'm where I'm supposed to be... but life hasn't (and most certainly never will) happened as I planned.  You dream and fantasize about things to be as you wish them to be... but at the end of the day you have to face reality.

One thing I know.  I don't depend on others.  Certainly I need relationships and friendships and emotional connections in my life.  God knows that's one thing I've learned.  But I have had an amazing life so far.  Been places I once only dreamed of going.  Accomplished many things, been blessed with the ability to have a good job and to be good at it.  I was recently told that I'm not aggressive enough in life, but as I ponder over the past few years, I see no evidence of that.  My life is where it is because of decisions I have made and actions I have taken to get here.  I've been the places I've been, done the things I've done because of hard work.  While to many it seems as though I spend most of my time traveling and eating out and having fun, honestly it's 80% working my ass off and being completely exhausted.

But in the past few years, I have built a wonderful life for myself.  I've been happier than I ever was before.  I rose out of a difficult time, one that I'm finally able to admit to myself was a good few years of depression (though I didn't know it at the time), got my health under control, began to face issues I have, and took huge leaps in both my personal and professional life.  It's been scary at times, but so worth it.

And I don't really know what I'm trying to get across here.  Just that today, who I am is enough.  Today is hard, but it will get better.  Maybe not tomorrow.  Or next week, or even in a month.  But just like before, I'll wake up one day and find myself on the other side of this.  I have to believe that.