I'm now half-way through the semester. So much more work to do yet, but I can hardly believe the end is so close. I finally started portfolio this past week, and feel as if I'm making some progress on it. Right now it feels really pointless, but I'm pretty sure when I'm finished with it I'll be proud of the work. Well, we'll see!

I had a good birthday. It was spent all day in class, but it was not bad and we went to Chipotle afterward and a walk on the beach. The weather was great and the beach was beautiful.


So now I'm 22 years old. While I'm pretty sure I'm still young, and this is in no way to offend anybody who happens to be say, one or two years older than I, I do feel a bit depressed about this age. I'm actually really glad about where I'm at in life. In fact, I wouldn't wish to be in any other position. But it is still a little depressing to look at the dreams of myself at 7 or 8, (I'm pretty sure I thought I'd be married and pregnant with my second kid by now haha), and not be anywhere near those dreams. But I don't consider those to be my "dreams" anymore, at least not in the way they used to be. I still want those things, but there are other things I want first. And I don't want them any sooner than God wants them for me, which could be in five years, or could be never. Guess I will find out eventually, but for now I want to live my life where I'm at. And enjoy it. I've got plenty of time for the other stuff.

I think that the church (and maybe Disney too...) has done a bit of a disservice to girls in its teaching that marriage and children is the only important thing in your life. We longed as little girls for Prince Charming, and nobody bothered to tell us that there is no such thing as Prince Charming, because guys simply don't measure up to that in the same way we can't measure up to perfect hair or tiny waistline with a 36DD cup size. The fact is nobody and nothing measures up to perfection. Marriage doesn't measure up to perfection, motherhood doesn't measure up to perfection. Somehow there's a disconnect there...? We can't seem to get that through to our hearts. Marriage becomes the only option for many girls, and there's no back-up when it doesn't happen, or if things go terribly wrong.

Anyway, happy birthday to me, I'm 22 and happy about it. ;)